(Sorry, Dad.)

I’ve been pretty adamant about my stand against marriage for about…7 or 8 years now. Last Christmas-time, I took my cousin Samantha to Tiffany’s so she could pick out a necklace and took a peek at engagement rings. I don’t know…I mean I like shiny things and all but you could propose to me with a puppy and I’d be fine.

Sidenote: for those of you who know me, you know that I have talked about and accepted the fact that I will possibly get married in the future. But, for those of you I’ve actually discussed the topic with, you also know that I am fundamentally cynical about the idea of marriage and that my reasons for doing it are slightly, admittedly, skewed. Also, I believe in pre-nups. Another fact, an ex-boyfriend broke up with me because of that.

End sidenote.

I decided to read one of the many academic articles I downloaded by Dr. Zak titled: “The Rule of One-Third”, which, as defined by the article:

“The Rule of One-Third guaranteed wives a life interest in one-third of their husband’s estate upon marital dissolution.”

Apparently, this rule goes back to the old days of Romans and paterfamilias. Now, the article is rather interesting as a whole but the part that caught my brain was when Zak listed the “three motivations for institutionalized marriage” and here they are:

1. Women needed a guarantee to a man’s resources because of the high cost of childbearing. So women wanted a guarantee of commitment before making babies. (Note, this is not accounting for baby-mama/baby-daddy situations where poor decisions are made!)
2. There is no room for complete vertical integration in marriage (one party cannot completely “own the other”) and so, the institution of marriage meant there were less “high transaction costs”.
3. During “Early America” years, women had limited access to jobs and resources, incentivizing them to marry.

And, how many of those reasons apply today? Not many. Dad always says to me how “women today are making men irrelevant” and that’s coming from a guy who’s been with some pretty powerful women. It seems as though the “traditional” reasons for getting married have become void over time. Women today don’t need a man to have resources and men today don’t need a woman to have babies. Although they do need a woman, it’s not necessary for them to even impregnate that woman, or even meet her for that matter. Adoption, artificial insemination, surrogate mums…the list goes on.

So I’ll go ahead and be the cheeseball that says that there is, in my mind, only one reason to get married and it’s one word: L-O-V-E, love. If you’re going to get married, do it for love because everything else is possible without marriage (as is love), but with love, the last legalized form of indentured slavery makes sense. Don’t do it for money, babies, or a green card.

And sign a pre-nup.