Grown man inspired me again today (hence the title) and since I got some positive feedback from yesterday’s “how to guide”, I’m adding another one:

Mel’s Guide to Being a Grown Woman

1. Open a savings account. Yeah.  There’s a type out there…I hate this type.  She’s the college graduate who spends her newly earned freedom (read: paycheck) on Fendi bags.  Are you serious?  Put that in savings woman, and yeah, I know the interest rate sucks right now but this is an important lesson for you to learn here.  I forgot who told me this, or where I read it but it is imperative that you be financially responsible.  When boys look for marrying-girls (the criteria is different than for screwing-girls), they want a partner.  Bailing you out of your $1000 Manolo Blahnik shoe obsession is not cute, its pathetic.
2. Bring a jacket. There’s a blog post that Grown Man wrote about men giving their woman a jacket when she’s cold.  Let me tell you why I freaking hate this concept.  I don’t hate that men give up their coats, I hate when women dress inappropriately and then expect the guy to freeze his butt off because she wanted to show off her business.  If the weather is cold, bring a jacket.  Don’t wear a miniskirt.  Add a hat and scarf if necessary.  As always, there are exceptions.  Sometimes the A/C is too high at the restaurant.  Sometimes, despite your best attempts to stay warm, you’re still cold and if Gallant Guy offers you his jacket then, at least you’ve done your part.
3. Learn to change a tire and hang a frame. I’m not a big fan of gender roles.  I’ll take out the trash and if he does the dishes, that’s cool too.  I can change a tire, legitimately.  If I get a flat and someone wants to stop and help, awesome, but if no one does than I will be a-ok.  Why is this important?  Because it makes you independent.  In my last post I talked about being too jealous/not jealous enough.  Well, here’s another one: being just the right amount of independent.  Making someone feel like you need them in your life without making them feel like you’re helpless without them.
4. Back up your goods. An aunt of mine once told me that “getting your foot in the door was the hardest part”.  I’m also going to add that she’s insanely hot.  But, she’s got the goods to back it up.  Let’s face it, some men are and will always be pigs.  And, sometimes the only reason they give a woman a chance (because women are inferior, of course) is because they like to look at her.  Those things don’t last long (ever see the turnover rate of secretaries at a big-shot law firm?) unless there’s the goods to back it up.  Yesterday, a friend told me I had an exceptionally charismatic personality.  And I know I’ve used that to my benefit in the past — but behind the charisma I have the brains to back up what I’m saying.
5. Read something besides chick-lit. I haven’t read “He’s Just Not That Into You” in its entirety because about midway through it, I thought to myself, “I could have written this business.”  I started my book a week this year and although I’ve fallen slightly behind, I have read a lot of books.  Books that are a conversation piece.  Books that mean you can relate to somebody because they’ve also read that book.  Jane Green is a great writer for beach reads…but show up at the beach holding a copy of War and Peace and I guarantee interesting results.
6. Do not under ANY circumstance ask your boyfriend to hold your purse. I can’t emphasize this enough.  If there’s one thing you want to follow from this article, its this one.  Have you ever glanced at the poor guy doing this?  He stands so awkwardly.  It is so emasculating.  If you need to tie your shoe, fix your hair, whatever, just do one of two moves: put your purse on the floor or grasp it between your knees.  Trust me, your boyfriend will love you for this.
7. Learn to walk in your heels. Self-explanatory.
8. Make executive decisions. My boss taught me this one.  You have information, you have a limited amount of time, you have to make a decision.  Make it, stick to it, don’t regret it.  No analysis-paralysis, no second-guessing yourself.  You are the executive and your world is your playground.  I’m currently reading a book called On Managing Uncertainty (Harvard Business Review).  Check it out.
9. Admit your mistakes, aim to improve yourself, and do so unapologetically. Wait, doesn’t admitting your mistakes mean you’re apologising?  No.  Apologise without being sorry for having to apologise.  Yesterday, I was at clinic and one of the residents I work with tried to teach me something that I already knew.  I made the cardinal mistake of telling him I already knew how to do it.  Then, I apologised for doing so.  Here’s a bit of self-disclosure:  I think I am a less-than-good listener. I am better today than I was yesterday and a year ago because I decided I wanted to be a better listener.  One of the problems that’s arisen on my way to improving what I perceive as a flaw is that I often have to process what someone is saying.  Cue awkward pauses in a conversation.  But, since this, friends have complimented the feedback I give them.  Dad taught me this one quite well but he’s a bad listener, weird, right?
10. Stand up for what you believe in. I saved this one for last because it is a NON-NEGOTIABLE.  Your foundation, your morals, your values — don’t compromise on them.  There will be a lot of people you meet who question and fight them and it is when you meet someone that not only understands but embraces your steadfastness that you know you can proceed.  This applies to relationships, friendships, work…everything.

Ok, go grow up.  Time to get to work!